A group of people standing on the staircase of a tenement house, waiting for something to come. I don't think we knew each other but there was a strong feeling of some connection between us - something that made us feel different from the strangers coming down.
The door on the left opened and we saw Mrs Erp greeting us and leaning over the handrail.
'Those two down there" she whispered confidentially, pointing at two ash blonde guys "definitely gay". We giggled. "All of them are".
---
The building had changed. Now, we had the stairs on our left, the walls seemed to be kept in a less retro style. But we hadn't change - still the same group of youth, waiting for something to come. The door in front of us was open and as the lesson was over, people started to leave the apartment. We were to be next. "Hey, Eva!" a gril in front of me must have been an acqauintance of mine. "Oh, hi" I replayed politely, although I had no idea who she was. She looked familiar. "I must introduce someone to you" she said and grabbed a very fat girl by the arm. "Eva, this is Stefan" the fat girl smiled. Seeing my surprise, the acquaintance of mine burst into laughter. "Stefan. I see. There must be something wrong with his sex" I murmured.
---
I was late. Although I felt free not to attend those classes, that day I decided to come. I didn't know what to expect - I wasn't even sure if I was a rebel who had chosen to skip classes or whether I was just exempt from the course.
I was terribly late. I entered the room in a hurry. Several desks, a few people and a priest in the middle of the room. I sat down and observed him. He seemed unnaturally self-confident whereas the studetns didn't dare to look at him. I came to his desk (in the middle of the classroom) to let him know that I was present. I expected that he would ask me to explain my absence. I expected that there wouldn't Kaśka's and my name in the list. But he had them there. "Pick a colour" I heard in my head. The room was pretty noisy, I thought the chatter made me misheard the teacher's voice. The priest looked at me. "Pick a colour." Now the voice was strong and clear. The priest's lips didn't move. "Can you hear me?" I heard in my head. I looked him straight in the eye. "Yes, I do" I thought. "Which one am I to choose?" There were lots of colourful pins lying on the desk. "If you don't want to make choice yourself, take this one" he said and gave me a pale blue pin. This time he used his voice. Although I was totally surprised by what had just happened, I didn't feel that the 'conversation' was an abuse. The priest was unable to read my mind. He had shown me that we were capable of communicating in an unusual way. "Am I gifted?" I sat down and put my pin aside. I told some girl about what had just happened but she seemed only irritated. "O.K." I thought "Again, I've leant that not everyone would understand me".
The show went on. A slide-show on a wall and an old terrified woman in front of the class were new victims. The priest kept changing slides, the woman kept reacing to the changes. She seemed hypnothised - she thought someone had cut her hand out.
When we run out of time and everyone was about to leave, the old woman asked the priest to explain what had happened. I stood behind her, in a queue. I tried to look him in the eye, I couldn't. I wanted to ask him the same. "What has it been for?" I kept repeating in my mind.
Aug 16, 2009
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